Philosophical Multicore

Sometimes controversial, sometimes fallacious, sometimes thought-provoking, and always fun.

Archive for the ‘Human Events’ Category

My commentary on the conservative newsletter Human Events.

RE Glenn Beck helps you silence the Left

Posted by Michael Dickens on October 6, 2009

Glenn Beck is funny.

The renowned television and radio host Glenn Beck has made a momentous discovery. Beck, author of the #1 New York Times bestsellers An Inconvenient Book and Glenn Beck’s Common Sense, has found the secret formula for how to win arguments — not just once or twice, but every time — against people with big mouths but small minds. You know, the type of people who are more loudmouthed and assertive than ever in Barack Obama’s America.

If that’s the case, then I won’t even finish this response. But somehow I doubt it. I doubt that there is really a ‘cure-all’ for arguments with “people with big mouths and small minds.” Trust me, I’ve looked for one. It ain’t there, and if it is, Glenn Beck is not going to be the one to discover it. The guy’s ridiculous.

It’s simple: all you have to do is know the facts.

Lies! Simply knowing facts will not win you a debate. You need rhetoric, passion, impression. Facts are dull and require sprucing. Perhaps more importantly, it is possible — and even easy sometimes — to win a debate without having any facts whatsoever.

For instance, here are the facts you need when you’re minding your own business and some liberal idiot with an Obama bumper sticker on his car smugly tells you that guns are evil and that gun control prevents gun violence. Armed with Arguing with Idiots, you’ll be able to tell him all about England’s disastrous and short-sighted handgun ban (see page 53).

(Note: I support the Second Amendment. Also note that I know nothing about this handgun ban.) The reason for the handgun ban’s failure wasn’t because the idea was bad, but is because it was implemented incorrectly. If Parliament (does Britain still have parliament?) had not written up and implemented the policy so ineffectively, it would have been fine. Besides, this circumstantial evidence is not enough to prove anything. America is not Britain. The two cultures are very different. And frankly, America could use a gun ban right now.

Or when some aging gray-ponytailed hipster praises Obama’s attempt to socialize healthcare, you can recount the horrifying facts about nationalized medicine that you can find on page 244.

This one is kind of cheating, since I don’t know what these “horrifying facts” are. If no argument is given, no refutation is necessary. Don’t let some aging gray-haired conservative Bible thumper tell you what to do.

And the next time a self- righteous “meat is murder” vegetarian sounds the chicken- little alarm about how vegetable prices will skyrocket without illegal workers, you’ll be able to say much more than “No, they won’t”: you’ll say: “Actually, eliminating all illegal labor will cause us to spend just $8 a year more on produce” (see page 139).

Wait, there are actually people who argue that “meat is murder”, therefore we should continue what is essentially slave labor in order to keep vegetable prices down? That position is virtually indefensible. But I suppose that that sort of argument is about on Glenn Beck’s level.

The Post Office: a perfect example of how government meddling can prevent an organization from ever reaching its full potential

Yeah, we can deliver letters and packages across the country within days! . . . which is terrible. Right?

Why the people who believe that our politicians can be trained to run government more efficiently are wrong

Yeah, because a little education is a terrible thing!

How French socialism has created an unsustainable society that the United States should avoid imitating at all costs

Which is why France has a successful economy, high life expectancy, plenty of freedom, and happy citizens.

Why nothing illustrates the battle between the good forces of individual liberty and the destructive, idiotic forces of collectivism better than the ongoing battle over the Second Amendment

Because people helping each other is terrible. No, what we want is for self-centered bigots to run around shooting people they don’t like. That is a far better outlook on the future.

The shocking statement by the Violence Policy Center that reveals the amazing dishonesty of the gun-grabbers

Uh . . . what’s a gun-grabber?

How the statistical games played by gun prohibitionists are more creative than Charlie Rangel’s excuses for why he didn’t follow the tax laws he was in charge of writing

It takes a good deal of creativity to get statistics into a meaningful form. I’ll bet Glenn Beck can’t do it. He will only show raw statistics, so uncleanly that the untrained eye may accidentally get the impression that the statistics actually favor Mister Beck.

Revealed: how some of the biggest opponents of alternative energy happen to be members of the green movement

Says the guy who believes that global warming is a leftist plot thought up by the Atheist Communist tyrranical Al Gore.

How the progressive methodology that dominates American public discourse today values empathy over fact

Empathy is based on fact. And if your child is drowning, do you take the empathetic route and save your child, or do you recite the “fact” that only 2% of children die from drowning so your child will probably live?

How bringing up the fact that a few of the millions of illegal immigrants in the U.S. might be terrorists will get you labeled a fearmonger and a racist

Because you are a fearmonger and a racist. You should be worried about heart disease. Or swine flu. Heck, you’re more likely to die of a bicycle crash then from terrorism. How do you like that statistic?

Why it may not be the soundest economic idea to buy a home

Let me guess: because home prices will drop, you won’t be able to sell it, or it will cost you a lot of money. Do you have any information I can actually use?

Why government spending as an economic stimulus is an illusion

It’s because the government isn’t really spending that money. The money looks as though it is being spent, but it’s really still there. It’s a pretty cool illusion.

The Constitution and Bill of Rights in plain English that even a liberal can understand

HA! That’s funny, because it’s calling liberals idiots. But this implies that most conservatives have not read the Constitution . . . aren’t conservatives supposed to be patriotic?

The real culprit responsible for the outrageous growth of government beyond all of its Constitutional boundaries


Posted in Human Events, Politics | Leave a Comment »

RE: Grading the Big Speech

Posted by Michael Dickens on September 11, 2009

I already wanted to write something about Obama’s speech to Congress, and after I saw this article from Human Events, I just knew I had to respond.

Read the rest of this entry »

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RE: 10 Commandments According to Obama

Posted by Michael Dickens on September 3, 2009

I. Thou shalt have no God in America, except for me. For we are no longer a Christian nation and, after all, I am the chosen One. (And like God, I do not have a birth certificate.)

Because if it’s not Christianity, it’s evil. You are either with us or against us. (And I thought we dealt with this birth certificate thing already.)

Read the rest of this entry »

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RE: I Read the Heath-Scare Bill & Obama Is Lying!

Posted by Michael Dickens on September 2, 2009

Something like this would normally not be worth responding to, but it sounds like it’s written by a twelve-year old. And I remember what twelve-year olds write like.

Obama says “I am in the way” of his Health-Scare Bill because I have questions and concerns. Well Mr. Obama I have read your Health-Scare Bill and want to know why you are lying and not telling me what is in the bill. Saying one thing and writing another. Why are you scared, putting my Constitutional Right to Free Speech under attack, suppressing and censoring my concerns?

See what I mean?

Read the rest of this entry »

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RE: Help Bring About A New Republican Revolution

Posted by Michael Dickens on August 16, 2009

Human Events is loads of fun.

Dear Fellow Conservative,

I love how, since I subscribed to their column, they think I must be conservative.

In November 1994, a great tide of conservative Republicans swept to victory in races all across America, wresting control of Congress from the stagnant, liberal Democrats and bringing principled, reform-minded energy to Bill Clinton’s “big government knows best” Washington, D.C.

Because everyone knows that liberal Democrats are stupid. Not only that, but they want to corrupt the nation’s youth. They even want to go so far as to turn the entire nation into a communist death land. Big Brother Is Watching You much?

I am very proud to have been a part of that historic achievement, unseating the Democrat incumbent to represent Pennsylvania in the U.S. Senate.

Yes, a widespread change of political position in government is historic. Wait, doesn’t it happen every few years or so?

Across our nation, voters are waking up to the disastrous consequences of Barack Obama’s presidency. Americans who were willing to take him at his word when he campaigned as a supposedly “reasonable,” “moderate” candidate are beginning to understand what lies behind the media hype and insincere charm.

Yeah! He’s been trying to improve healthcare, save the economy, and all that, but still, he’s a terrible president. Hmm, I can feel a “you got screwed over by the guv’ment and we can help you get revenge” coming on.

President Obama and his Pelosi-Reid Democrat allies in Congress are radical leftists determined to remake America into a socialist “utopia.”

Yea! Socialism is bad! But wait, 9 of the 10 countries with the highest quality of life are socialist.

They jeopardize our future, with activist judges who disregard the Constitution, wholesale takeover of banks, manufacturers, insurance companies and health care, outrageous and unsustainable taxation and spending which saddle our children and grandchildren with trillions of dollars in debt, rising unemployment and inflation, and a foreign policy of apology and dithering in the face of deadly global threats.

Isn’t it just horrible what the liberal Democrats want to do to you?

A new tide of popular grassroots opposition to the Obama Democrats’ senseless policies and insatiable hunger for power is rising across America.

“Grassroots”? Seriously?

In the spirit of our great Founders, Main Street Americans are voicing their opposition with a renewed sense of patriotism. Tea Party protests, enthusiasm for less government, and anger at Washington’s derisive attitude toward America’s bedrock values are growing.

Yeah! Because Patriotism means rebelling against your government!

That is why I’m asking you to stand with us as we work to recruit and elect principled, conservative Republican candidates who will work to reverse the Democrats’ damage and govern with humility and respect.

Remember, people: Democrats are not principled. Democrats are savage beasts with no sense of morality, and they only want to infect the nation with their disgusting and evil ways.

Please join our fight today. Thank you.

Hey, maybe I will. Wait, let me think . . . HELL NO. I will not support this mummer’s farce that is being called a revolution. You know what would be a revolution? A Libertarian takeover. Or even a Communist takeover. Heck, we can even go with a Feudalist takeover. But Conservative? Come on, you can do better.

Posted in Human Events, Politics | 1 Comment »

RE: New Movie: ‘Where’s the birth certificate?’

Posted by Michael Dickens on August 15, 2009

Oh dear. Not this again.

Once again, I am responding to the worthless cesspool known as Human Events. Unlike the Conservative Blogger’s Union or Small Dead Animals (winner of the 2008 Weblog Award for Best Conservative Blogger), Human Events not only has nothing original to say, but says it poorly. So poorly, in fact, that it can be refuted by a fifteen-year-old high schooler with access to the internet and no sense of taste. What do I mean by that? I have no idea. It just sounded catchy in my head.

Without further ado, let’s get to the refutin’.

WASHINGTON – WND Editor Joseph Farah has produced the first major DVD documentary on the critical issues surrounding the constitutional eligibility of Barack Obama to serve as president – but it wasn’t easy.

True. Filling a feature-length movie with the necessary lies and obfuscations is harder than it sounds.

In fact, during the course of shooting and editing “A Question of Eligibility,” the award-winning filmmaking team, including veterans of many controversial movie projects, made the unusual request to keep its identity secret for fear of retribution from the administration.

Oh my God! Censorship! Run away! Wait . . . if it’s being censored, why does it have 15 million hits on Google?

“That’s how hot this topic is,” said Farah. “That’s how hot this movie is.”

. . . really? I think I’m going to be sick.

“A Question of Eligibility” is expected to ship to customers on Aug. 4, the date Obama claims as his 48th birthday. Preorders are being accepted exclusively at the WND Superstore.

Oh. Whirled Nut Daily.

(By the way, you can find free copies of the movie online. It’s just a matter of looking hard enough. By which I mean a two-minute Google search.)

“What we have produced here is a compelling and shocking documentary that will appeal both to those already steeped in the details of the eligibility story and those who need a video introduction to the major issues,” said Farah.

. . . and those who, after a long hard day, want something stupid and easy-to-understand that they can laugh at. That would be me.

It’s a fast-moving, original work shot entirely in Washington, D.C., and based on the voluminous investigative work of the news agency that has spent more time and money on the story than all other news media combined – the WND news team, said Farah.

So EVERYTHING in the movie is based off of the research of Whirled Nut Daily. I’m not sure that’s a very objective news source.

“Obama is choreographing a top-down revolution in America – one from which it may take generations to extricate ourselves,” says Farah. “It will be a shame if we learn he was ineligible to serve in the office of president only after he’s gone. If we can force the issue to be addressed while he is still in office, we have a chance of turning back the clock on many of the destructive actions he has taken already. If he’s not able to prove his constitutional qualifications, we might all be able to wake up one day and think of the Obama administration as just a bad dream.”

And that’s where it all becomes clear. These folks do not care if Obama was really born in the United States. They are just looking for an excuse to get him out of office. Unbiased? Ha!

Posted in Human Events, Politics | Leave a Comment »

RE: Obama Birth Certificate Appeal Filed

Posted by Michael Dickens on August 4, 2009

Note: Obama did not technically release his birth certificate. He released a certificate of live birth. There’s some difference or something. But both are legal documents, so the same logic still applies.

This is a response to the article from Human Events.

We are in court, AGAIN, demanding that Barack Obama PROVE that he is a natural-born citizen…


Yes, isn’t it laughable that he already provided his certificate of live birth, and yet people want more proof for some reason? I mean, the health director of Hawaii personally saw it. examined the birth certificate and came to the conclusion that “Obama was born in the U.S.A. just as he has always said.” Heck, even Snopes wrote about it, and they have a copy of the birth certificate. If the word of several people and organizations and a scanned copy of the birth certificate aren’t enough for you, what will be? Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, but this is just ridiculous. Do we have to go back in time to witness his birth before these nutjobs will be satisfied?

Just show your birth certificate.

This is a common denialist tactic: ignore the evidence.

You know: that simple document that lists your birth date, the hospital where you were born, the doctor that delivered you, your parents’ names… your birth certificate.

I do know what a birth certificate is. But it would seem that you don’t, since Obama already released a copy of his and yet you pretend he hasn’t.

If you’re questioned about your qualifications, just show your birth certificate.

But that’s EXACTLY what Barack Obama WILL NOT DO! We cannot let him get away with this — but we need YOUR help to stop him!

Anyone could guess what I’m going to say next.


But then Joe Biden would be president! He’s terrible! Oh wait, no, he’s just a Democrat. I get those two confused sometimes.

Barack Obama could simply put the issue to rest, right now, by releasing his ACTUAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE. But he WON’T! HE REFUSES TO DO SO!

*cough* ad nauseam *cough*


Isn’t that wonderful. Just like the moon landing hoax people are NOT GIVING UP (in all caps of course).

You see, they know “the system,” and they think they can exploit it to make us (and that nasty old U. S. Constitution) go away — but we know the system too, and they’re finding out that WE aren’t going ANYWHERE, … we just keep coming back and hitting them with the TRUTH, over, and over, and over again!

Yeah! Fight the power! Oh wait, Obama’s black. Human Events is a newsletter written by old white conservatives. Hmm.

All they’ve put online is a “certification of live birth” (COLB), which the State of Hawaii doesn’t even accept as valid proof of actual birth in Hawaii! In fact, several experts have declared that the posted document, which doesn’t even list the hospital of birth OR the attending physician, is a fake!

I have seen no such expert. Besides, Snopes is the biggest expert around, right? Oh, and there’s this:

“I, Dr. Chiyome Fukino, director of the Hawaii State Department of Health, have seen the original vital records maintained on file by the Hawaii State Department of Health verifying Barack Hussein Obama was born in Hawaii and is a natural-born American citizen.”


Wait a minute, Obama’s middle name is “Hussein”? This changes everything! He must be in cahoots with Sadaam Hussein, because they share a name! Impeach Obama! Fight the power! Oh wait, not that again.

If Barack Hussein Obama has nothing to hide, WHY doesn’t he just make his real birth certificate public?

It’s kind of important. You can’t just throw around that sort of document. However, several trusted sources have personally seen it, and that should be good enough for you.

I did come across this funny image:

In effect, he wants to destroy the U. S. Constitution and reshape it into his own image of what he wants it to be.

Oh no!!! Obama is the spawn of Satan! He must be stopped!

BOOM! My brain exploded. I can only handle a certain level of repetitive ignorance.

Posted in Human Events, Politics | Leave a Comment »

Human Events: Help us stop this EVIL law!

Posted by Michael Dickens on July 7, 2009

I opened my email today and saw this on the header:

Mike Huckabee to me

I thought, this is going to be interesting. So I decided to share my journey with the world.

Dear Conservative Friend,

Try moderate-left libertarian.

In July 2007, Barack Obama promised a group of his supporters that, if elected president, he would sign perhaps the most evil piece of legislation in the history of our republic.

What a promise!

It’s called the “Freedom of Choice Act,” or FOCA — but don’t let the Orwellian title fool you.

I won’t. Let’s rename it to the “Evil Nazi Killer Act”.

It’s about forcing each and every American citizen — regardless of his or her view on abortion — to support abortion-on-demand not just as a “fundamental right” but as a taxpayer-funded entitlement.

If an American citizen thinks that abortion is immoral, then that citizen is wrong. Sorry.

FOCA would immediately strike down any and all state restrictions on abortion — even those with wide popular support, such as prohibitions on partial-birth abortion and parental notification requirements for minors seeking abortions.

That’s pretty radical.

The actual FOCA states this:

Freedom of Choice Act – Declares that it is the policy of the United States that every woman has the fundamental right to choose to: (1) bear a child; (2) terminate a pregnancy prior to fetal viability; or (3) terminate a pregnancy after fetal viability when necessary to protect her life or her health.

Sounds reasonable to me.

Prohibits a federal, state, or local governmental entity from: (1) denying or interfering with a woman’s right to exercise such choices; or (2) discriminating against the exercise of those rights in the regulation or provision of benefits, facilities, services, or information. Provides that such prohibition shall apply retroactively.

Sounds fair. This is a governmental regulation, not a societal one. So I don’t think Huckabee cares about this.

Authorizes an individual aggrieved by a violation of this Act to obtain appropriate relief, including relief against a governmental entity, in a civil action.

Okay . . . so where’s the evil Nazi killing part? To me, it sounds like it is just providing more freedom of choice, hence the name.

Make no mistake: FOCA is the most radical piece of pro-abortion legislation ever proposed, one that would go far beyond Roe v. Wade in making abortion a government-protected and taxpayer-supported “right,” through all nine months of pregnancy.

I agree. Isn’t it wonderful? (By the way, after five months or so, abortion is only necessarily legal if the mother’s life is in danger. Apparently Huckabee supports manslaughter if it’s a fetus committing it.)

But with your help, HUMAN EVENTS will defeat the pro-abortionists’ “stealth” media campaign with its own media blitzkrieg designed to counter pro-FOCA lies and propaganda with the facts.

Now we’re getting to the juicy bit. Question, why are you subtly comparing pro-abortionists to Nazis? Oh yeah, it’s because appeals to emotion and ad hominems are the only arguments that you have at your disposal.

But really, what lies and propaganda? The “lie” that fetuses are not self-aware? The “propaganda” that fetuses before three or four months are not even conscious and cannot feel pain?

According to Huckabee, the Freedom of Choice Act would:

Establish abortion as a “fundamental right,” elevating it to the same status as the right to vote and the right to free speech — going beyond any Supreme Court decision in enshrining unlimited abortion-on-demand into American law

Abortion is a fundamental right because life is a fundamental right.

Eliminate every restriction on abortion nationwide — including 44 states’ laws concerning parental involvement, 40 states’ laws on restricting later-term abortions, 46 states’ conscience protection laws for individual health care providers, 27 states’ conscience protection laws for institutions, 38 states’ bans on partial-birth abortions, 33 states’ laws on requiring counseling before an abortion, and 16 states’ laws concerning ultrasounds before an abortion

Read the FOCA. There is nothing in it about parental involvement, counseling, or ultrasounds.
– On late-term abortions: FOCA only necessarily allows them if the mother’s life is in danger.
– On counseling: Forced counseling is an invasion of privacy.
– On ultrasounds: Forced ultrasounds restrict freedom of choice and attempt to invoke appeals to emotion (“look at the cute baby!”) to try and stop the abortion.

Force faith-based hospitals and healthcare facilities to perform abortions

Good. A hospital is a public facility. You may as well say that some other act will “force faith-based hospitals and healthcare facilities to provide aid to atheists”, as though that is somehow immoral.

Blah blah blah, more stupid crap that doesn’t make sense, end of article. Goodbye.

Posted in Human Events, Politics | Leave a Comment »

RE: Cheney Shows the Way

Posted by Michael Dickens on May 27, 2009

Dick Cheney is giving the Republican Party a demonstration of how to fight a popular president. Stake out defensible high ground, do not surrender an inch, then go onto the attack.

Isn’t that a wonderful beginning?

The ground on which Cheney has chosen to stand is the most defensible the Republicans have: homeland security. In seven-and-a-half years after 9-11, not one terrorist attack struck our country.

Is that so? What about these? (quoted from Wikipedia)

“A small explosive device exploded out front of a Starbucks in New York City destroying a bench it had been placed on.”

“An improvised explosive device went off inside a federal prison in California during a search Saturday, according to federal authorities.”

“Woodburn police Capt. Tom Tennant, and Oregon State Police bomb technician Bill Hakim were killed, and Woodburn Police Chief Scott Russell was critically injured after a bomb exploded at the West Coast branch of Wells Fargo in Woodburn.”

“An explosion at a personal injury law firm in downtown Dalton, Ga., injured four people, including at least one lawyer, and resulted in the death of the apparent bomber in what a federal law enforcement spokesman described as a suicide attack.”

“Knoxville Unitarian Universalist church shooting, Jim David Adkisson kills 2 people and injures 7 in Knoxville, Tennessee.”

And that’s just since 2008. There were many more in the six preceding years. So great job on your research there, Human Events. It took me, what, two minutes to find five terrorist attacks?

And, unlike Obama’s position, Cheney’s is 100 percent reality based. He was there. He lived through this. He made the decisions to use the harsher techniques on the worst of the enemy who could yield the greatest intelligence to save American lives.

With all due respect (i.e. none), what the hell are you talking about? What does that even mean? It sounds like typical baseless propaganda.

“The interrogations were used on hardened terrorists after other efforts failed. They were legal, essential, justified, successful and the right thing to do.” And they “prevented the violent deaths of thousands if not hundreds of thousands of innocent people.”

Who are you quoting? Oh yeah, and I really doubt that hundreds of thousands of innocent people would have died from terrorist attacks. Oh, but you know what does cause a lot of deaths? War. For example, the Iraq War. Am I implying something? Of course not! The Iraq War was necessary to preserve the freedoms that we Americans hold dear. All those people who died during the Iraq War weren’t innocent. They . . . um . . . deserved to die. Yeah, that’s it. They were sinners. Right.

[Cheney] charged The New York Times with virtual treason in exposing the program to intercept calls from al-Qaida and mocked its Pulitzer Prize.

So Cheney mocked the Pulitzer Prize, apparently as a tactic to draw attention away from the fact that he was breaking the Fourth Amendment. I hardly see the relevance. I must be missing something, since I am so foolish when compared with Cheney the Wise.

He charged Obama with endangering national security by “triangulating,” adopting a policy designed less to secure America than to unite and appease his political coalition.

Good for him. And I care because . . . ?

“There is never a good time to compromise when the lives and safety of the American people are in the balance.”

Safety? Ha! “Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.” -Benjamin Franklin

That Cheney is winning seems undeniable.

Oh, so it’s a contest now.

Not only has his approval rating risen to 37 percent, probably higher on national security, Obama’s coalition is cracking apart.

Not only is 37% still embarrassingly low, but you do not seem to understand how to speak in a coherent manner.

Harry Reid and a Democratic Senate voted 90 to 6 to humiliate Obama

That doesn’t seem very nice. We shouldn’t be humiliating each other, we should be working together!

Cheney is winning because he has been there

He has most certainly not been there. When we say “there” we’re talking about my grandma’s house, right?

Cheney deals with the concrete.

And Obama deals with the asphalt. So what?

We remember that scene

We do? Which scene? Who am I? RAWR!!

The former vice president with the crocodile grin has just shown the way.

What kind of cruddy last line was that? My last line is better.

In conclusion, we must remember the heroes of America; we follow not just our leaders, our soldiers, but the common man; when we become independent of Cheney’s tyranny, when we truly learn to lead, then we will at last be liberated.

Posted in Human Events, Politics | 1 Comment »

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