Philosophical Multicore

Sometimes controversial, sometimes fallacious, sometimes thought-provoking, and always fun.

RE Glenn Beck helps you silence the Left

Posted by Michael Dickens on October 6, 2009

Glenn Beck is funny.

The renowned television and radio host Glenn Beck has made a momentous discovery. Beck, author of the #1 New York Times bestsellers An Inconvenient Book and Glenn Beck’s Common Sense, has found the secret formula for how to win arguments — not just once or twice, but every time — against people with big mouths but small minds. You know, the type of people who are more loudmouthed and assertive than ever in Barack Obama’s America.

If that’s the case, then I won’t even finish this response. But somehow I doubt it. I doubt that there is really a ‘cure-all’ for arguments with “people with big mouths and small minds.” Trust me, I’ve looked for one. It ain’t there, and if it is, Glenn Beck is not going to be the one to discover it. The guy’s ridiculous.

It’s simple: all you have to do is know the facts.

Lies! Simply knowing facts will not win you a debate. You need rhetoric, passion, impression. Facts are dull and require sprucing. Perhaps more importantly, it is possible — and even easy sometimes — to win a debate without having any facts whatsoever.

For instance, here are the facts you need when you’re minding your own business and some liberal idiot with an Obama bumper sticker on his car smugly tells you that guns are evil and that gun control prevents gun violence. Armed with Arguing with Idiots, you’ll be able to tell him all about England’s disastrous and short-sighted handgun ban (see page 53).

(Note: I support the Second Amendment. Also note that I know nothing about this handgun ban.) The reason for the handgun ban’s failure wasn’t because the idea was bad, but is because it was implemented incorrectly. If Parliament (does Britain still have parliament?) had not written up and implemented the policy so ineffectively, it would have been fine. Besides, this circumstantial evidence is not enough to prove anything. America is not Britain. The two cultures are very different. And frankly, America could use a gun ban right now.

Or when some aging gray-ponytailed hipster praises Obama’s attempt to socialize healthcare, you can recount the horrifying facts about nationalized medicine that you can find on page 244.

This one is kind of cheating, since I don’t know what these “horrifying facts” are. If no argument is given, no refutation is necessary. Don’t let some aging gray-haired conservative Bible thumper tell you what to do.

And the next time a self- righteous “meat is murder” vegetarian sounds the chicken- little alarm about how vegetable prices will skyrocket without illegal workers, you’ll be able to say much more than “No, they won’t”: you’ll say: “Actually, eliminating all illegal labor will cause us to spend just $8 a year more on produce” (see page 139).

Wait, there are actually people who argue that “meat is murder”, therefore we should continue what is essentially slave labor in order to keep vegetable prices down? That position is virtually indefensible. But I suppose that that sort of argument is about on Glenn Beck’s level.

The Post Office: a perfect example of how government meddling can prevent an organization from ever reaching its full potential

Yeah, we can deliver letters and packages across the country within days! . . . which is terrible. Right?

Why the people who believe that our politicians can be trained to run government more efficiently are wrong

Yeah, because a little education is a terrible thing!

How French socialism has created an unsustainable society that the United States should avoid imitating at all costs

Which is why France has a successful economy, high life expectancy, plenty of freedom, and happy citizens.

Why nothing illustrates the battle between the good forces of individual liberty and the destructive, idiotic forces of collectivism better than the ongoing battle over the Second Amendment

Because people helping each other is terrible. No, what we want is for self-centered bigots to run around shooting people they don’t like. That is a far better outlook on the future.

The shocking statement by the Violence Policy Center that reveals the amazing dishonesty of the gun-grabbers

Uh . . . what’s a gun-grabber?

How the statistical games played by gun prohibitionists are more creative than Charlie Rangel’s excuses for why he didn’t follow the tax laws he was in charge of writing

It takes a good deal of creativity to get statistics into a meaningful form. I’ll bet Glenn Beck can’t do it. He will only show raw statistics, so uncleanly that the untrained eye may accidentally get the impression that the statistics actually favor Mister Beck.

Revealed: how some of the biggest opponents of alternative energy happen to be members of the green movement

Says the guy who believes that global warming is a leftist plot thought up by the Atheist Communist tyrranical Al Gore.

How the progressive methodology that dominates American public discourse today values empathy over fact

Empathy is based on fact. And if your child is drowning, do you take the empathetic route and save your child, or do you recite the “fact” that only 2% of children die from drowning so your child will probably live?

How bringing up the fact that a few of the millions of illegal immigrants in the U.S. might be terrorists will get you labeled a fearmonger and a racist

Because you are a fearmonger and a racist. You should be worried about heart disease. Or swine flu. Heck, you’re more likely to die of a bicycle crash then from terrorism. How do you like that statistic?

Why it may not be the soundest economic idea to buy a home

Let me guess: because home prices will drop, you won’t be able to sell it, or it will cost you a lot of money. Do you have any information I can actually use?

Why government spending as an economic stimulus is an illusion

It’s because the government isn’t really spending that money. The money looks as though it is being spent, but it’s really still there. It’s a pretty cool illusion.

The Constitution and Bill of Rights in plain English that even a liberal can understand

HA! That’s funny, because it’s calling liberals idiots. But this implies that most conservatives have not read the Constitution . . . aren’t conservatives supposed to be patriotic?

The real culprit responsible for the outrageous growth of government beyond all of its Constitutional boundaries

Democrats?

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