Philosophical Multicore

Sometimes controversial, sometimes fallacious, sometimes thought-provoking, and always fun.

The Closest You’ll Get to Effortless Weight Loss

Posted by Michael Dickens on September 15, 2009

I recently received this amusing email.

Dear Health Concious Reader,

Suppose you could drop all of your unwanted fat … without going to the gym or forcing yourself to eat rice cakes and tofu burgers?

Doesn’t everybody?

I have a new clinical study on my desk that says it’s possible.

When the rest of the world catches up — this little-known West African herb could potentially become recognized as the most effective weight loss supplement ever discovered.

But you can start using it to drop pounds — and lose inches — RIGHT NOW!

That’s funny . . . most spam I get wants me to gain inches, if you know what I mean.

Imagine watching yourself in the mirror… every week you get slimmer and slimmer. Fat starts to melt. Your waist starts to shrink and get firmer. You put on your favorite pair of jeans and they fall down around your ankles.

But I’m already so skinny. . . .

Sounds great, right? But it gets better. In addition to all that fat loss you start to feel better too… You have more energy; more stamina and you feel more optimistic.

This is getting hard to believe.

There’s an all-natural herb that grows deep in the forests of West Africa. And it helps reset your body to the point where you naturally and easily resist the production of new fat cells.

It’s natural, so it must be good, right?

Remember the days when you could eat anything you wanted… and nothing made you fat?

Yep. That’s called right now. I’m eating ice cream for breakfast as we speak. (Well, not really. I actually try to eat healthy foods most of the time.)

It’s easy when you’re young.

It sure is!

By the way, after they dropped the name of the drug (irvingia gabonensis) I looked it up and found this:

During the one-month study period all subjects were on a normocaloric diet evaluated every week by a dietetic record book. At the end, the mean body weight of the IG group was decreased by 5.26 ± 2.37% (p < 0.0001) and that of the placebo group by 1.32 ± 0.41% (p < 0.02). . . Irvingia gabonensis seed may find application in weight lose [sic].

I’m Very Excited about Primal Lean — The Results are
Jaw Dropping!

. . . .

(my jaw just dropped)

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2 Responses to “The Closest You’ll Get to Effortless Weight Loss”

  1. davis said

    sounds to me like an inflammation of your gabon

  2. lrflew said

    Sounds great, right? But it gets better.

    Better than looking like I’m anorexic?

    In addition to all that fat loss you start to feel better too… You have more energy; more stamina and you feel more optimistic.

    You know me well enough to know this is a bad thing, right?

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