Philosophical Multicore

Sometimes controversial, sometimes fallacious, sometimes thought-provoking, and always fun.

I Get Email

Posted by Michael Dickens on September 3, 2009

This has to be the strangest email I have ever received.

woods, could keep a better watch than our regular watchmen. They are
faithful enough, and would mean well, but what we are afraid of is that
a lot of clever scoundrels could get inside and set the place on fire
before they knew it. They wouldn’t expect boys to be on the lookout, and
we can arrange to have the place protected amply if we can have a few
minutes warning. In that way the plans of the violent ones among the men
would be blocked, and at the same time there would be no danger of
bloodshed, or of anyone being hurt. I would rather lose a year’s pay
than have a man of them all injured.” “And I a year’s profits, or a good
deal more,” said Mr. Simms. “Understand me, boys, we want you to do this
in a way that will not get you yourselves into any danger. Simply stay
here tonight, after, the place is closed up. Mr. Carew and I and a few
other men will be inside, but we don’t want to show ourselves. I am
having telephones put in all over the factory

I am holding a contest to guess its meaning. Whoever give the best or most creative answer gets a million fun dollars!*

*Fun dollars are just like real dollars, except that they don’t exist and only I can mint them.


2 Responses to “I Get Email”

  1. LRFLEW said

    I figured it out.

    Seeing as it makes little sense, it has to be an acronym. After close analysis, I came to the conclusion that, because of the flow of the message, and how the acronym was arranged, I discovered I had to go farther. For every double letter, make it single, and remove everything else. It came with “wapbatowysa”. When using a text to speech program, it emphasizes a break between the ‘a’ and the ‘t’. Separated and strung into binary bits, I Xor’ed them. At first I got “9168873”, but when google searched, the first thing that came up was a “not found” page, telling me I needed to backtrack. I then realized I had it backwards, as numbers are read from right to left. I then came up with “1041558”. When Google searched, very close to the top was a patent. Realizing this is a very definitive answer, I clicked on it. It was a patent on an invention for a type righter. Seeing as you work with keyboards, I realized this was the connection. It was patented on October 15, 1921. Exactly five years later, a woman was executed as a double spy. The main picture for her topic on wikipedia is dressed as what we would normally say is a fortune teller. Whoever sent you this message was trying to warn you. Your keyboarding will give you a choice. One way will lead to betrayal, and, eventually, executed. Be carful.

    Now where is my Fun Money!

    (To MTGandP, feel free to speel chek me, and erase this note)

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