Philosophical Multicore

Sometimes controversial, sometimes fallacious, sometimes thought-provoking, and always fun.

RE: Help Bring About A New Republican Revolution

Posted by Michael Dickens on August 16, 2009

Human Events is loads of fun.

Dear Fellow Conservative,

I love how, since I subscribed to their column, they think I must be conservative.

In November 1994, a great tide of conservative Republicans swept to victory in races all across America, wresting control of Congress from the stagnant, liberal Democrats and bringing principled, reform-minded energy to Bill Clinton’s “big government knows best” Washington, D.C.

Because everyone knows that liberal Democrats are stupid. Not only that, but they want to corrupt the nation’s youth. They even want to go so far as to turn the entire nation into a communist death land. Big Brother Is Watching You much?

I am very proud to have been a part of that historic achievement, unseating the Democrat incumbent to represent Pennsylvania in the U.S. Senate.

Yes, a widespread change of political position in government is historic. Wait, doesn’t it happen every few years or so?

Across our nation, voters are waking up to the disastrous consequences of Barack Obama’s presidency. Americans who were willing to take him at his word when he campaigned as a supposedly “reasonable,” “moderate” candidate are beginning to understand what lies behind the media hype and insincere charm.

Yeah! He’s been trying to improve healthcare, save the economy, and all that, but still, he’s a terrible president. Hmm, I can feel a “you got screwed over by the guv’ment and we can help you get revenge” coming on.

President Obama and his Pelosi-Reid Democrat allies in Congress are radical leftists determined to remake America into a socialist “utopia.”

Yea! Socialism is bad! But wait, 9 of the 10 countries with the highest quality of life are socialist.

They jeopardize our future, with activist judges who disregard the Constitution, wholesale takeover of banks, manufacturers, insurance companies and health care, outrageous and unsustainable taxation and spending which saddle our children and grandchildren with trillions of dollars in debt, rising unemployment and inflation, and a foreign policy of apology and dithering in the face of deadly global threats.

Isn’t it just horrible what the liberal Democrats want to do to you?

A new tide of popular grassroots opposition to the Obama Democrats’ senseless policies and insatiable hunger for power is rising across America.

“Grassroots”? Seriously?

In the spirit of our great Founders, Main Street Americans are voicing their opposition with a renewed sense of patriotism. Tea Party protests, enthusiasm for less government, and anger at Washington’s derisive attitude toward America’s bedrock values are growing.

Yeah! Because Patriotism means rebelling against your government!

That is why I’m asking you to stand with us as we work to recruit and elect principled, conservative Republican candidates who will work to reverse the Democrats’ damage and govern with humility and respect.

Remember, people: Democrats are not principled. Democrats are savage beasts with no sense of morality, and they only want to infect the nation with their disgusting and evil ways.

Please join our fight today. Thank you.

Hey, maybe I will. Wait, let me think . . . HELL NO. I will not support this mummer’s farce that is being called a revolution. You know what would be a revolution? A Libertarian takeover. Or even a Communist takeover. Heck, we can even go with a Feudalist takeover. But Conservative? Come on, you can do better.

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One Response to “RE: Help Bring About A New Republican Revolution”

  1. fche626 said

    I just don’t get it. I don’t understand how people can call universal health care senseless. It’s just…I don’t know. It makes no sense.

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