Philosophical Multicore

Sometimes controversial, sometimes fallacious, sometimes thought-provoking, and always fun.

“I won’t accept the idea that I came from monkeys.”

Posted by Michael Dickens on July 23, 2009

I heard a Creationist say something like that one time. My response is this:

If you won’t accept the idea that you came from monkeys*, then I won’t accept the idea that I was created by a jealous and self-centered God who created me for the sole purpose of groveling at his feet during a meaningless existence and then either joining with His Jealousness or, if I don’t accept Him, being banished to a land of fire and torture for all of eternity.

*Technically, humans did not evolve from monkeys. They evolved from prehistoric primates that branched off into monkeys and apes (and apes later branched off into chimpanzees, orangutans, humans, etc.)

7/25/09 Edit: I was not previously aware of this, but Charles Darwin actually has a very similar quote. It is worded more elegantly, if less amusingly:

For my own part I would as soon be descended from that heroic little monkey, who braved his dreaded enemy in order to save the life of his keeper; or from that old baboon, who, descending from the mountains, carried away in triumph his young comrade from a crowd of astonished dogs — as from a savage who delights to torture his enemies, offers up bloody sacrifices, practices infanticide without remorse, treats his wives like slaves, knows no decency, and is haunted by the grossest superstitions.


2 Responses to ““I won’t accept the idea that I came from monkeys.””

  1. phynnboi said


    There’s a funny irony under the surface, there. They won’t “accept the idea that [they] come from monkeys” because their pride won’t allow for it–they must be specialer than every other species on the planet. Yet, then they turn to a religion that is largely based on how all of humanity are unworthy wretches. You know, it’s like if someone said, “I refuse to believe that the universe just ‘is,'” but then turned around and said, “God created the universe, and God just ‘is.'” Oh, wait….

  2. Great post , You really hit the
    mark with this, I just don’t understand why people quite get what you’re saying.
    I’m not for sure how many people I’ve talked to concerning this very
    thing in the past month, and they just can’t get it.

    , Excellent post!

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