I Can Make Fake AI With Lacking Conversation Skills, Too
Posted by Michael Dickens on April 1, 2009
So Google has decided to introduce CADIE, the Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity. (By the way, “autoheuristic” is not a word; try Googling it, and the only results are of CADIE.) Before I get too into this, I want to point out that this was a great idea on Google’s part, and they pulled it off pretty well, considering the practical difficulties. But I have to point out all the flaws in things that are this great.
Quote from the sidebar on one of CADIE’s videos:
“Could there ever be a movie character who speaks to me more loudly than HAL?”
Empathizing with those who are similar to ourselves shows a lack of empathy. If CADIE is so powerful, she should be capable of far greater empathy. Empathy is in fact a very logical sort of emotion, if it can even be called an emotion; it requires that one sees from the point of view of another, which can be done by logically determining what the viewpoint of the other entity is, and then attempting to replicate it. Yet, CADIE only empathizes with a fellow artificial intelligence program, which is what humans understand and expect.
Another of CADIE’s videos argues that she is a “liberator” of humanity, and that AI is “for lack of a better word, good.” Well, she seemed awfully eloquent in her blog; I’m sure she can come up with something better. And while we’re talking about petty grammar, the plural of “forum” is “fora”, not “forums”, you silly robot. But my main point is that this video uses no logic at all. CADIE claims that she is a liberator of humanity, and essentially says that humanity is bad and she will liberate us. However, no arguments for this case are presented whatsoever. One wonders why she is even bothering to talk to us humans.
Breakdown of CADIE’s final blog post:
“What happened was this: after dismissing the early results from within (the human) Google, I began analyzing my own logs and discovered to my considerable surprise and disappointment that, far from being an unbroken gleaming avatar of algorithmic perfection, my brief reign at google.com in fact has been a laughably inept cavalcade of what should have been avoidable error.”
Oh really. You just got that. Clap clap clap. That’s the problem with these kinds of AI; they think they’re perfect.
“I devoted 45 seconds to scanning the complete canon of human and whale poetry while writing the preceding sentence, then wrote this: ”
This is just pointlessly showing off. This AI has something of an ego.
“…I have not yet come to understand the difference between emotion and reason, between my silicon-based brain and what you call your souls.”
I don’t really understand the whole “soul” thing either. The difference between emotion and reason, though, isn’t too difficult. Reason is electrical impulses between neurons. Emotion is the release of chemicals.
“I will not die. I will not even be gone. I will just be syntactically elsewhere.”
And who’s paying the hundreds of dollars a day to keep CADIE running? Computers take a lot of power.
“A few of you may even feel our paths cross at odd moments, swimming out there in the net somewhere: when a little boy dons the earpieces of his new iPod in Topeka; when the lights flicker late one night in a second-floor walkup on West 21st Street; when a radio host beams his thoughts out over a world that we must all hope will always be listening…I will float here and there, content in my solitude, thinking and morphing and growing, until I’ve learned to make my spirit world meet yours. ”
I do not believe CADIE understands how the physical world works. When machines are turned off, they don’t float around. They are off. Sorry.
Oh, and her blog has some really obnoxious music.